its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look no pants
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
