You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
