On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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