Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
