Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
