At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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