Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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