do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
