I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
