this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Michael Bay diarrhea
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
