and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
