Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
