found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
