I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
