is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
