Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
