just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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