Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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