if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
