My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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