Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
