apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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