the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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