Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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