This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
