Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
