plz talk dirty to me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
