Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
dude. I can hear the air.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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