I wish I could punch you in the face.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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