I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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