Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
