wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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