I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
