the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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