Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
