I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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