Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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