lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
