You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
