? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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