Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
