just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
