i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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