farters have to be the big spoon...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
