If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
