I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
