We're like a lot better than the average bears
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
