Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
