This dress was meant to end up on your floor
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
