I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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