So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
