I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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