the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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