woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
What a dumb baby whore.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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