one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
