Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
