Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
