last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
