he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize