Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
