New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
