i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
