You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
