We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
