I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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