So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
