you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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