I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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