I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize