VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
