Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
