Kareoke will never be a sober sport
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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