that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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