omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
a search helicopter?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
