sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
