I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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